Velimir`s favorite color is green.
That Saturday in October he was returning home through the Bregalnicka street after hard working day at the office. With trembling footsteps he attacked famous Aerodrom hill guided only by thought of a nice warm meal and even warmer smile and hug of his wife Dunja. Except for that thought little could put a smile on his prematurely aged face. As every other night the window curtains on the surrounding family houses were shut, their yards ruined, and skinny dogs left out to charge the gates on every sound of footsteps. Rain, cold and angry, slapped Velimir`s umbrella like naughty child, while water purred down the steep street lustfully soaking Velimir`s sox through old boots.
October wind justified its evil reputation of the hill by weaving the strands of apathy and frost into his bones and soul . Velimir is troubled by the problem of meaning and being. Although he is trying for years to justify his black fingers, numerous blisters and sick veins before his 25th birthday by life` s inevitability, bad luck and unfortunate present situation. Velimir no more believes in romance and cant help himself thinking that something awfully went wrong in his life. Days became weeks, weeks became months, they transformed into years and life didn`t became any better. On the contrary.
Velimir is virgo and generally cheerful man.
The minimalism of the Sumadian capital thought him of extreme hedonism. To silently accept the life sneaky blows and earn his small fulfilling pleasures by honest hard work.
Nothing can reach him now. His body long ago became a shell oblivious to the outside world, which like zombie clumsily and confused wonders through everyday life. The only one who can reach to him through all those layers of apathy, and hug this man as nature made him, strong and resourceful with broad back for life` s problems, is his wife Dunja. Except for her, little can shake the Velimir whom parents brought up to be honest and righteous man and therefore set his flawed boat to the storms of this world.
Velimir is not truly hedonist.
He longed , not so long ago, like us for better life. He dreamed about events that yet should take place, but fuck it. He tried, for 6 days in week, he tried to make their life better. But, his job showed itself like Sisyphus rock which got larger by the day, and damned Bregalnick hill steeper and steeper.
“Ahh! Be damned all! Why cant i be like Nikola? Why i bounded myself with principles? Why i sterilized myself with moral? He has it all, he lives! He passes this damned hill effortlessly in his new car…” (But that is not you) says the voice…
Dunja could have gone with him!” (But she chose you)
“Hmm. YES! Damn fool! She could have it all that her heart desire`s for, but no! Look at me! I cant afford new shoes, a cant afford nothing for her, then why she` s still with me?
(Because she loves you)
But i`m nothing but the loser. She works two jobs, and lives like a dog, and yet she had a choice.” (And she chose you, she has meal, hug and strong support in you in the time of need, she have hope.)
“Hope? Can you eat hope? Don`t rub salt on my wounds!” (Ok .Than why do you thread this hill?)
“Because i love her!” (Than keep it up little longer, have hope) said the voice.
Velimir is hard working and defiant.
He put his last chewing gum into his mouth, because he approached the top of the hill, and his home. He started to throw the remaining peace of paper to the ground and suddenly he stopped. He looked down, trying to hold on to his umbrella, and watched at the pile of paper, cigarettes and plastic bags which played a little orgy by the sidewalk and his look stopped on his own hand that was holding the piece of paper. “No, this is not me.” His gaze traveled than to the other side of the street to the dumpster, then he crossed the street and threw the paper. Paper simply bounced of the corner of the dumpster and fell to the ground. One nasty curse split the silence of the street, as Velimir picked it back up and dunk it into the trash. With satisfied grin he turned to cross the street, when suddenly two car lights cut him off, drenching him with rain water to the skin. He started to curse, when he realized that driver was Nikola in his new car.
“Ah! Let it be Veljo! God sees all!”
Velimir is not believer.
He continued to cross the street troubled by some thoughts. Velimir never saw second pair of lights coming, and his body wasn`t protected against hard metal and glass of a Sumadian vehicle. World started to spin, and he fell, and fell…into oblivion. While the angry wind carried his dropped umbrella down the street, the rain continued to fall on his grotesquely positioned body which with last atoms of strength tried to recover the wallet with Dunja`s picture from his inner pocket.
There ended Velimir Damjanovic, father of unborn Darko, and husband of Dunja Damjanovic. Hard working, good husband, passionate fisherman, but above all a good man.
On the day of his funeral rain did not fall. It seemed that sky didn`t have the time nor wishes to mourn regular mortal from Kragujevac. Dunja didn`t cried either. She was enraged by him for deserting her and for shattering all the hope which she secretly nourished in darkness, watered them with tears when he is not looking and providing the light from her deep love for him.
On that day, hours after he was respectfully buried and sent to his final resting place, one garbage truck visited the Bregalnick Street. While the workers rolled and spilled the fill of the dumpster into the open jaws of the truck, one piece of gum paper fell from the dumpster to the pile on the sidewalk. The truck carried on with its business leaving the half empty container.
Velimir is not a fool.
You are not alone.